Ways to help Daisies and Brownies prevent and resolve conflicts.
You are at a Troop meeting and there is a lot going on. During the outdoor game, Madison accidentally
kicked Jasmine, and Jasmine is sniffling.
Madison explains loudly that it wasn't her fault. Your co-leader steps in with an ice
pack. At the same time, Emily begins her
job of distributing the snack, but you notice that she is trying a new way of
pouring juice - with her eyes shut! Just
then, Samantha stands up and shouts at Olivia and Olivia bursts into tears.
Yikes! It's hard to stay
focused in situations where a lot is happening at once. You need listening and conflict resolution
skills you can use yourself and teach to the girls.
SKILLS YOU
CAN USE:
1. Stop it
before it starts
The first conflict resolution skill is prevention. Some situations will still occur despite our
best efforts to "be prepared", but in some cases planning and
forethought might reduce or avoid conflict.
As you and the girls get more experience being a Troop, you'll get more
skillful at heading off upsets before they begin.
Can you think of ways that any of the above situations could have
been prevented or mitigated?
Madison and Jasmine:
_____________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Emily and the juice:
_______________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Samantha and Olivia: ______________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
2. Be
present and attentive
Being calm and attentive are important skills to exercise in any
situation, and especially when things get chaotic. If you were planning to use snack time to
quickly read over the instructions for the next activity, the impact of all the
above is going to be even more stressful.
Decide ahead of time that once the meeting starts, you will be present
and available to the girls the entire time, and stay attentive and
involved. When you are distracted, the
girls will notice and react poorly.
How might these situations have been different if an attentive
adult were seated at the snack table?
Emily and the juice: _______________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Samantha and Olivia:
______________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
3. Listen
well
Part of being attentive is being a good listener. Periodically ask yourself these
questions: Do I look at a girl when she
is speaking to me? Do I interrupt? Do I wait to give a girl a chance to answer
me? Does my body language and facial
expression indicate interest or distraction?
You model attitudes of attention and caring for your Troop by listening.
What might your co-leader be doing to help Madison and Jasmine
work out their conflict?
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
SKILLS YOU
CAN TEACH THE GIRLS:
1. Active
Listening
In many conflicts, what each person wants is just to be
heard, to have her point of view acknowledged. In active listening, each person restates in
her own words what she heard the other say.
Use phrases like "It sounds like you said…." Or "If I
understand you correctly, you feel…."
This method often calms the situation and clears up misunderstandings.
2. Role
Reversal
Ask each girl to state the point of view of the other girl. Then ask each to confirm whether her point of
view was understood correctly. Putting
oneself in another's place is an important life skill.
3. Creative
Solutions
Help girls step outside the "I win, You lose" method of
problem-solving, and encourage brainstorming creative solutions
that satisfy both parties. The solution
they choose may not be the one you would, but if it pleases them and they are
willing to both work toward resolution, that's what counts.
At first you will have to actively mediate the conflicts between
the girls. DON'T BECOME
DISCOURAGED! Sometimes the only Troop
activity at your meeting might be to resolve a conflict. The meeting was not wasted! The girls involved in the conflict learned
important life skills, and every girl watching learned as well. More importantly, the girls learned that you
are a fair and impartial adult who can restore order and create a safe space
for them.
In the conflict between Madison and Jasmine, or Samantha and
Olivia, what do you think each girl might say when coached in one or more of
the above conflict resolution skills?
Madison and Jasmine:
_____________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Samantha and Olivia:
______________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
